All Rise...

Judge David Johnson thinks "McKids" sounds like a cannibal delicacy. (Come on editor, I dare you to print this one.)

The Charge

Yay, cholesterol!

The Case

So apparently Ronald McDonald hangs out with a group of fun-loving, ethnically diverse children who think nothing of following a grown man in bright yellow jumper and clown make-up to Egypt. They are the "McKids," and they are very happy to be here. When Ronald McDonald emerges from his closet, covered in explorer's equipment, the McKids get the idea in their heads to go traipsing all over the planet seeking out adventures.

Ronald obliges. And their first super-exciting adventure? Why, a trip to the library of course! The initial destination for the McKids is a jaunt to the local library, where they learn all about the reference system and the joys of wandering through aisle looking for books.

Eventually the McKids reconvene for some story time, and the amicable librarian shares with them a story of pirates and treasure, which prompts the McKids to go on a treasure hunt themselves. Gold fever settles in something fierce when the kids stumble upon a secret map hidden in a library book!

Here's where things get really weird. Ronald's red shoe opens up, and miniature red shoe car pulls out and grows into a jumbo red shoe. The kids, less creeped out and more psyched to be tooling around in a mobile piece of clown footwear, pile in, and Ronald starts them off on the adventure. The kids later trade the shoe-car for a hot air balloon piloted by some overeager dude, who takes them all around the planet. When the McKids reunite with Ronald, it's at the pyramids in Egypt. Yes, they eventually find the lost treasure. I won't ruin the reveal, but suffice it to say it's not as sexy as cursed Aztec gold or Nazi loot, but something of a more "educational" value. So sweet.

The entire program runs a shade north of 30 minutes, and, opposed to some of the delicious entrees available at your local McDonald's, is low-fat. The kids are your typically diverse smiley bunch; thrilled to do what the script requires and not the least disappointed when it turns out their sought-after treasure sucks. Ronald McDonald, on the other hand, is effective in small doses, but pushes the boundaries of annoyance when given extended amounts of screen time. Overall, the thing felt like a throw-away DVD you'd get in a Happy Meal: generic, inoffensive and mildly amusing.

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