All Rise...

Ronald McDonald versus Grimace. That's a steel cage match Judge David Johnson would like to see.

The Charge

"I'm sorry honey, but I don't want you spending time with that clown anymore."

The Case

Okay children, it's time for another adventure with everyone's favorite corporate shill clown: Ronald McDonald! Ronald surrounds himself with a politically correct gaggle of kids who he dubs the "McKids" and together this gang goes on educational adventure. This time around, the McKids are going to soak up the joy of exercise!

They start off by getting their grubby little hands on fun conveyances. Skateboards, bikes, unicycles, scooters, roller blades, it's all up for grabs thanks to Ronald McDonald's trans-fat-powered magic. With a wink and snap he is able to materialize these things out of thin air and everyone is happier than a wharf rat in a Brie factory. Everyone except for Kim.

Kim is sad because she hates riding things with wheels and doesn't know of any activity that she likes enough to dedicate her time to. Poor Kim. Ronald, sensing the child's dismal attitude, tries his best to perk her up. To do this, he drags the McKids through a series of sports and active leisure-theme activities to help Kim discover where her "get-up-and-go" preference lies.

That's the thread holding these 30 minutes of fun together, getting poor Kim into the joy of playing sports. The wild ride ends with a non-competitive soccer game full of running and kicking and magical clown juggling.

This disc content is benign and innocuous and completely generic. All the pieces are there—nice-looking kids with huge smiles, a recognizable pop culture icon, lame-ass music and moral lessons all over the place—but that's about it. There just isn't anything new or original enough to give it enough charm to make is distinguishable. However, I'm probably being too hard on it. If you or your kids think Ronald McDonald is funny and hip and enjoy these kinds of inoffensive, music-drenched, learning-laden excursions, I see nothing in this brief program that will piss you off.

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