Tight (DVD)

The Story of the World’s First All-Girl, Porn Star Rock Band.

Take four porn stars — Monica Mayhem, Layla Labelle, Tuesday Cross, Alicia Andrews — and throw them together in a rock band. Then follow them documentary-style as they go on their first tour. The girls have 37 days to live and work together, to prove that mastermind and fellow porn star Bree Olsen was right to cast these beauties.

Simply put, Tight is boring. Taking a reality TV series and re-cutting it as a two hour movie just doesn’t work. There are far too many interview segments and not enough raw footage which severely hurts what little narrative thread exists here. The girls’ obviously manufactured “problems” are merely placeholders between soft core porn scenes, and it all failed to hold my interest for any length of time. Okay, so the music the girls played was decent, but I didn’t connect with anyone or anything else on screen.

Presented in standard definition 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, the visuals are the same type of low level handheld Mini-DV footage used in porn, with grain and unbalanced white levels all screaming for color correction. There are no problems with the Dolby 2.0 Stereo track, but then again there’s not a lot outside of the band’s gigs to really challenge it.

Though MVD provides an ample amount of bonus features, they felt laborious to get through. Tons of deleted scenes, a photo gallery, some music videos, a couple of behind-the-scenes featurettes, as well as full cuts of performances and some trailers.

Fear not. Tight never forgets just who’s in this series, so there are more than enough T&A shots included. But that’s about all this experiment has going for it. Difficult for me to recommend a DVD you’ll probably watch without the sound.

THE VERDICT

Guilty.

73
Here are the top ten things we know: 1) She lives in Ohio 2) She is MWOC unless you count her two dogs 3) Believes Avatar was NOT the greatest movie ever made 4) Operates on a primarily nocturnal basis 5) Wants to write the screenplay for the movie adaptation of C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle 6) Watches a variety of shows on television including, but not limited to: Castle, @midnight, Face Off, Sherlock and Whose Line is it Anyway? 7) Does not believe anyone will actually read this besides the editor (hello, Editor!) 8) Has attended more than one N*SYNC concert in her lifetime but only one NKOTB concert 9) Was in a car crash that would have killed her had she not been wearing her seat belt 10) Is in the process of catching up on Supernatural (incidentally would possibly leave her husband for either of the Winchester Brothers depending on the episode in question) and the bonus! 11) Enjoys reading, writing, laying on the beach (long walks tire her out) and assorted snack foods like frozen M&M's.
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