All Rise...

Judge Patrick Naugle sharpens his fangs.

Editor's Note

Our review of Vampire's Kiss, published September 7th, 2002, is also available.

The Charge

They'll suck you in!

The Case

Vampire's Kiss
Literary agent Peter Loew (Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance) spends his days climbing the corporate ladder and sleeping with as many women as possible. Loew's lifestyle comes to a screeching halt when he meets the beautiful but mysterious Rachel (Jennifer Beals, Flashdance) at a local night club. Loew takes Rachel home, where she bares her fangs and bites Peter in the neck. Suddenly Peter starts acting even stranger than usual, and he begins to realize that he is becoming something else…something dark, something hungry, and something not quite human.

Nicolas Cage may rank as #1 on the list of "Oddest Hollywood Careers Ever." Cage's filmography is peppered with hits, duds, bizarre choices, and complete head-scratchers. Cage got his start in such hits as Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Peggy Sue Got Married. Hits (Honeymoon in Vegas) and flops (Zandalee, which went straight to video) followed. Leaving Las Vegas won Cage a well deserved Oscar, but the actor followed that film up with a string of action flicks (The Rock, Con Air, Face/Off), soon followed by choices that seemed as if they'd been picked at random (The Wicker Man, Drive Angry). At one point Cage was even considered for the role of Superman in a Tim Burton adaptation, but instead became Johnny Blaze in two Ghost Rider films. 2014 saw the actor in films as diverse as the critical hit Joe and the second adaptation of the Christian novel Left Behind. What's next for Cage? Only the fates seem to know.

One of Cage's earlier works was director Robert Bierman's (A Merry War) 1988 comedy-horror hybrid Vampire's Kiss. An initial flop at the box office, Vampire's Kiss has since garnered a cult following on home video. Improbably, it was one of the only 1980s flicks I had yet to see. Frankly, I'm not so sure it was worth the wait. Vampire's Kiss will come off as too odd for horror fans or comedy fans to truly enjoy. I found myself looking at my watch often, which is never a good sign.

I can see how Vampire's Kiss has become a cult classic, almost solely due to Cage's loony performance. Cage taps into about 200 different emotions during the film, all of them alien to what I consider to be normal human responses. I know, I know…what else would you expect from a Nicolas Cage movie? Cage's Peter Loew isn't so much a character as much a distortion of Cage's persona. The supporting cast includes a lush Jennifer Beals as the sexy vampire that seduces cage and Maria Conchita Alonsa as an assistant who often bears the brunt of Loew's craziness (he flies into rages and cackles like a patient in an insane asylum). Keep an eye out for blink-or-you'll-miss-them early roles by David Hyde Pierce (Frasier) and John Michael Higgins (Best in Show).

As for the horror aspects of the film, they are fairly light and not all that interesting. In fact, I wouldn't even put Vampire's Kiss in the horror genre—it's more an absurd comedy that wants to show you what happens when a man goes just a little bit insane. The grossest thing to be found here is Cage eating a real live cockroach in screen (a feat that has seemingly gone down in history and almost single-handedly put this movie on the map). When eating a bug is the most impressive event in your movie, you know there’s a problem.

High Spirits
Ireland's Castle Plunkett is about to be closed down and its owner, Peter Plunkett (Peter O'Toole, Lawrence of Arabia), is at the end of his rope—literally. Peter decides to end his life by hanging when the idea comes to him to turn the Irish castle into the most haunted castle in all of Europe. With the help of some of his servants, Peter 'haunts' the castle and brings in his first group of guests that include married couple Jack (Steve Guttenberg, Police Academy) and Sharon (Beverly D'Angelo, National Lampoon's Vacation), a chaste priest (Peter Gallagher, The Player) and a ditzy brunette (Jennifer Tilly, Bride of Chucky), among others. Problems arise when real ghosts haunting Castle Plunkett show up, including Sharon (Daryl Hannah, Memoirs of an Invisible Man) and Martin (Liam Neeson, Taken 2), undead spirits who fall in love with the living.

From a Draculated Nic Cage, we move to a ghostly Daryl Hannah in Neil Jordan's supernatural comedy High Spirits. This is one of those movies that I vividly recall being shown in theaters and flopping like a dead fish. The film was released on VHS and that video box—of Steve Guttenberg, Daryl Hannah, and Peter O'Toole (with a drink in hand, naturally) riding on a floating four post bed—beckoned to me to see the film. As a kid I wanted to but, for one reason or another, I never got around to it. After finally sitting through High Spirits, I can safely report that the title is misleading—you won't be feeling elation when the final credits start to roll.

High Spirits is a comedy, but there isn't a lot of funny stuff going on in it. Try as the actors might, the screenplay by director Neil Jordan (Interview with the Vampire) can't find enough amusing things for the characters to do in Plunkett Castle. Of course, this doesn't stop the stars—especially a scene chewing Peter O'Toole—from giving it their best try. In fact, the best thing about High Spirits is watching O'Toole booze his way through the film, clearly aware that the whole thing is just a lot of paranormal ridiculousness.

The rest of the cast is agreeable (Steve Guttenberg is affable as usual, Daryl Hannah is sexy, and Beverly D'Angelo plays a perfect snob) but the movie just gives them so little to do for laughs. The comedy comes in the form of the hotel trying to pass itself off as haunted (spinning beds, holographic ghosts) and then the real ghosts showing up and falling in love with the customers. The ghosts are in the from of Hannah—looking pale and dire, as if she just got out of a chemotherapy session—and Liam Neeson in a bad wig and an accent as thick as molasses.

The special effects are, not surprisingly, extraordinarily dated, including some terrible "ghost" effects (that look like overlay shots) and a talking horse that is clearly a second rate Jim Henson creation. The production design of Castle Plunkett is first rate, complete with a cavernous interior and creepy looking outdoors. If nothing else, High Spirits gets high marks for looking authentic. Yet much like Vampire's Kiss, when your movie's redeeming quality is an authentic looking castle you've probably got quite the clunker on your hands.

Both High Spirits and Vampire's Kiss are presented in 1.85:1/1080p HD widescreen. Once again, Scream Factory has stepped up to the plate to offer up good looking transfers for rather mediocre movies. Both video transfers look generally sharp with a light grain structure that gives each movie a warm, "filmic" feel. Personally, I found Vampire's Kiss to look just slightly better than looking than High Spirits but not very a very large margin. Each soundtrack is presented in DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 Stereo in English. Neither of these soundtracks are very impressive. While they certainly get the job done, there is no dynamic range or directional effects in either of these soundtracks. Also included on each film are English subtitles.

Vampire's Kiss includes a commentary track by Nicolas Cage and director Robert Bierman, as well as a theatrical trailer for the film. There are no extra features included with High Spirits.

Neither of these films converted me into a fan. Vampire's Kiss features a batty performance by Nicolas Cage but a flaccid story, while High Spirits has an inebriated and amusing turn by Peter O'Toole but a rather rote and boring screenplay. Scream Factory's double feature will most certainly thrill fans who've waited a long time to get these two horror-comedies in high definition.

The Verdict

Take it from me: you won't die laughing.

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