All Rise...

Judge David Johnson enjoyed the sequel more, "Satan's Teddy Ruxpin."

The Charge

Tender young flesh seduced by the ultimate evil. (Hey, that's exactly the same thing I want on my epitaph. Weird.)

Opening Statement

From Severin, a studio that's proud to bring exposed breasts to the masses, a Eurosleaze adventure of mild proportions.

Facts of the Case

So here we are at a castle where a lovely woman named Solo (Mariangelo Giordano) is in training to become a nun. And to secure that habit, she'll have to endure the mother of all final exams, as she is faced with a malevolent spirit that takes over a young girl named Maria (Jacqueline Dupre) and makes her walk around the castle naked.

And if that wasn't enough to keep her busy, she must also contend with a wheelchair-bound pervert constantly leering at her while she sleeps and a guy who has sexual intercourse with a rooster.

The Evidence

Here's how Satan's Baby Doll (a great name by the way that doesn't make much sense in the context of what actually transpires onscreen) breaks down: talking, talking, almost-nun auto-erotica, talking, talking, nudity, nudity, talking, sexual assault on a rooster, talking, nudity, talking, nudity, nudity, talking, more auto-erotica, talking and necrophilia. That's a lot of sleaze, but also a lot of talking and that means you'll be happy as a clam if you a) like your dialogue-heavy films with lots of nudity or b) like your nudie films with lots of dialogue.

Beneath the flesh lurks a somewhat serviceable horror-thriller. Actually it's more like a ghost story as we, the hapless viewers, try to delineate the source of the possession. There's somewhat of backstory involved in all of that and it's mildly interesting, but come on, let's all be honest with each other (hey, it's me!) and confess that there is only one reason why this DVD can find its way into your collection or obscure crawlspace: the production design. Ha, just kidding! It's the boobs! Or maybe you're looking to pick up some conversational Italian but find Barnes and Noble's offerings far too un-pornographic. Well, if it's supple flesh you seek set against the backdrop of a mediocre supernatural whodunit—with some barnyard weirdness tossed in for good measure—you can do a lot worse than Satan's Baby Doll. Both female leads are attractive, Dupre doing that "innocence lost" routine and Giordano in that "hot disciplinarian with sharp facial features and sublime calf muscle definition" kind of way.

There's not much else to report with this film. If you're down with nunsploitation and Eurosleaze in general, you might get your kicks from Satan's Baby Doll. As a movie, the rudimentary ghost story and the incessant talking do little to trump the major selling point, the anatomy exposure. Some bonus weirdness helps, though.

Severin produced a nice DVD. The video quality is strong, transferred in a 1.66:1 anamorphic widescreen and the 2.0 stereo Italian track does its job nicely (that job being the transmission of lots and lots and lots of Italian dialogue through the center channel). Extras are an interview with the director and the theatrical trailer.

Closing Statement

A moment of silence for that poor rooster's dignity.

The Verdict

The accused has been reported to Colonel Sanders.

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