All Rise...

When the apocalypse happens, Judge David Johnson is remaining in his man cave until the whole thing blows over.

The Charge

All that remains is disappointment.

The Case

I'm sorry—but what's the point?

If you're expending a not inconsiderable budget to piece together a Christian film to (presumably) get the Good News out, why are you making a Rapture movie? As a subscriber to the faith, I am, frankly, flummoxed. That then is my confession; I am popping The Remaining into my Blu-ray player with a full-formed bias against the subject matter. Can the movie change my mind?

No. Not even close,

In fact, the folks behind The Remaining opted to go all-in on the apocalyptic preening, crafting a full-blown horror movie. Now, it's not dripping with gore or profanity or nudity (not surprisingly), but the tone is pitch-dark, jump scares abound, bystanders get whacked, demonic forms materialize and the heavens open up to vomit forth a legion of malevolent cherubim. This isn't appropriate for Sunday School viewing. To be honest, I'm not sure who it's appropriate for.

The film opens with a wedding, mixed with some first-person camcorder footage. My initial thought—to which I recoiled—was "This is going to be another found footage film." Thankfully, that didn't turn out to be the case as the story unfolded in a mix of traditional movie-making and POV stuff. It's not long after we're introduced to the characters, a selection of two-dimensional, attractive 20-somethings (Christian or not, these types of movies apparently have some unassailable constants) when all Hell breaks loose, literally.

The Elect drop to the ground like bags of meat, blank expressions on their faces. The world implodes, fires break out, panic-stricken newscasters stumble over their updates and the leftovers huddle together in enclaves while shadow monsters start to prowl. The main characters are trapped in a narrative loop of running like crazy from unknown pursuers and taking a moment to consider their faith in Jesus. It's hokey and paper-thin, punctuated here and there with genuinely effective bits of dread

But after all the calamity and cacophony I am left with a simple question: why?

Why expend the resources on a movie that will a) repel non-Believers, b) repel Believers whose eschatology doesn't align with Rapture-palooza (like yours truly) and c) only appeal to, I don't know, a select group of progressive youth groupers? The faith stuff is on the nose (as it has to be) but even in the best case, if the message of salvation resonated, you're looking at converts who jumped aboard the JC express because, why—they were afraid of someday getting trapped in a below-average episode of The Walking Dead? That, brothers and sisters, does not make for a resilient bedrock of faith to withstand the perils of this existence.

But who am I to question the work of the Holy Spirit? If there's someone out there who's got the potential to start a global ministry and save like a million souls and all he or she requires to get on with it is a low-budget movie about pretty millennials collectively wetting themselves over the prospect of getting disemboweled by a blurry smear of CGI, then onward Christian soldiers.

As for me and my house, The Remaining remains a slicker-than-usual production that looks to preach safe thrills to the choir or, best case, scare a passerby into cracking open the NIV in hopes of avoiding an end times fate equivalent, to, well, watching The Remaining over and over and over.

The Verdict

I hate to come down hard on this, one of the better produced and directed Christian movies I've seen, but approaching The Remaining from a Christian perspective leaves me fatigued, bewildered and a little pissed off. Let's get our heads in the game, guys. Guilty.

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