All Rise...

Judge Patrick Naugle is a Golden '80s Action God!

The Charge

The gang's all here.

The Case

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone, Cliffhanger), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham, Crank), and the rest of the Expendables crew are back with a vengeance! This time around the team faces their most vicious adversary who was also one of their own: Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson, Lethal Weapon 2), one of the founding fathers of the Expendables team. Stonebanks was presumed dead but went rogue and has now become a deadly threat not only to the Expendables team, but also the entire civilized world. When Stonebanks captures some of the youngest recruits of the Expendables team, Barney makes it her personal mission to retrieve his teammates before Stonebanks turns them into his own person trophies.

The Expendables movies exist within a world of their own, and that world is approximately 1987. The films were made not to tell engaging stories or move the human spirit, but to allow aging action stars a vehicle to blow crap up. The catalyst of this franchise is Sylvester Stallone, one of the biggest stars of the 1980s and early 1990s, whose fame fell out of favor as he reached his AARP years. In 2006, after being relegated to the direct-to-video graveyard for half a decade, Stallone revisited one of his most iconic characters in Rocky Balboa. The film was a hit, which paved the way for revisiting John Rambo in 2008's Rambo, also a success. This paved the way for Stallone to put together 2010's The Expendables which featured Stallone and a dozen grizzled actors (Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, etc.) in a film that emulated and celebrated a genre Stallone helped create. A few years later came The Expendables 2, featuring more aging action stars (Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme) and more rapid gunfire. The film was also a hit, which paved the way for the obligatory The Expendables 3, which attempts to jam in anyone that was ever featured in an action movie during the 1980s.

If you ask me to attempt a recap of The Expendables and The Expendables 2, you're going to be sorely disappointed. As I sit here writing this review I can't for the life of me recall much about either of the previous Expendables movies. I remember a lot of explosions and Sylvester Stallone's vein popping biceps, as well Arnold Schwarzenegger looking as old as Moses himself. The second sequel was more of the same only with more stars and a bigger budget. Here we get more of the same (again), which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Like the previous two films, The Expendables 3 isn't an especially memorable movie, though I'm not sure this franchise was meant to linger on your brain. This series is sort of like McDonalds: enjoyable while you're eating it, but about as nutritious as a Big Mac and large fries.

How do you rate the performances in a movie like this? I'm guessing nobody took their roles based on possible Oscar nominations or acting challenges. Most of the key members are back, including a sleepy-eyed Sly Stallone as the ringleader, who chomps on cigars and growls his dialogue like a pit bull waiting to lunge. Terry Crews (who spends most of the movie in a coma), Jason Statham (still trying to be a star), Randy Couture (the comedic relief), and Dolph Lundgren (as the hard drinking sidekick) are all back as the main components of the Expendables team, while Arnold Schwarzenegger stands on the sidelines throwing out one-liners like he was a dialogue dispensary. Joining in on the fun is a gruff Harrison Ford taking over the role once occupied by Bruce Willis (who declined to reprise his role), Wesley Snipes as a knives expert known as 'Doctor Death,’ and a looney-as-ever Mel Gibson as the films' heavy. Also making an appearance is Kelsey Grammar as one of Barney's associates and Antonio Banderas, who gives the best performance in the film as an excitable solider whose personality is bigger than everyone's gun collection combined.

The jokes come fast and furious in The Expendables 3, starting with the introduction of Wesley Snipes as Doc, a just-sprung prisoner who is asked why he was in prison (Snipes humorously responds "tax evasion," mirroring the actor's real life arrest and incarceration). Much like the movies it emulating, The Expendables 3 is just as ridiculous and goofy as it is explosive. Just as intense are the action sequences, guided by first time director Patrick Hughes (this is his first studio film) who is proficient if not wholly memorable behind the camera. Befitting The Expendables franchise, the action scenes are intense and explosive featuring missiles, helicopters, grenades, speeding trains, rapid fire GAT guns, and bodies thrown around like rag dolls.

In the end, The Expendables 3 is exactly what I was anticipating, no more and no less. There's a cavalcade of action movie stars, more employed firepower than the Gulf and Vietnam wars combined, and constant winking at the audience to let them know the actors are in on the joke. Your enjoyment will have everything to how with how much you enjoy the genre. Me? I'm a sucker for sensation machines like this, which is why I can heartily recommend it to connoisseurs of movies that start and end with the word "Stallone."

The Expendables 3 (Blu-ray) is presented in 2.40:1/1080p HD widescreen. Not surprisingly, Lionsgate offers up a great looking transfer for this second sequel. The image looks crystal clear with no major flaws or imperfections in the transfer. Colors and black levels are crisp and bright, offering viewers a near reference quality picture. The soundtrack is presented in Dolby 7.1 Atmos in English. Befitting a movie of this caliber, The Expendables 3 features a sonically dense audio mix. The soundtrack sports constant directional effects and surround sounds, giving viewer's home theater systems a heavy workout. In short, the video and audio presentations are spectacular. Also included are English and Spanish subtitles, as well as a Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround mix in English.

Extra feautres include a documentary on the making of The Expendables 3. a few featurettes ("New Blood: Stacked and Jacked," "The Total Action Package"), a gag reel, and a single extended scene ("Christmas Runs the Gauntlet"). Also included is a DVD and digital copy of the film.

The Expendables 3 is a real hoot. While the series has gotten a little long in the tooth (and should probably end with this trilogy capper), this second sequel finds Stallone and his crew in proper working order, a well oiled machine that offers both laughs and bloodshed, both in equal doses. Lionsgate work on this disc is great and should please fans of the series.

The Verdict

More of the same, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

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