All Rise...

Judge Patrick Naugle is giving you a snow job.

The Charge

Six million tons of icy terror!

The Case

David Shelby (Rock Hudson, Pillow Talk) is the owner of one of Colorado's most premier ski resorts. David's warned by a rival (Robert Forster, Jackie Brown) that the resort has been built on unstable ground and could be in the path of a potentially deadly avalanche. David ignores the warning and—surprise, surprise!—will pay dearly when mother nature decides to give the ski resort the proverbial middle finger and an avalanche crashes down on the innocent skiers and workers residing at the resort. The victims find themselves trapped in an snowy blanket of death, including David's ex-wife Caroline (Mia Farrow, Rosemary's Baby) and his aging mother (Jeanette Nolan, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance). Who will survive and who will become a human snow cone dessert?

To misquote a famous phrase, Roger Corman never met a budget he really liked. Corman is one of the grandfathers of low budget cinema, and almost every film he made was produced with money in mind (with character/story a far, far distant second). Due to this theory, Corman's films are often unintentionally bad (or maybe it's intentional, depending on who you ask). Often made on the cheap and faster than a speeding bullet, watching a Roger Corman production usually meant seeing where corners were cut and seams were sewn on the costumes and rubber suits. While Mr. Corman usually turned a profit, it was often at the expense of the viewers.

Avalanche came at the tail end of the 1970s disaster movie phenomenon that roughly started with 1972's The Poseidon Adventure and effectively ended with director Irwin Allen's 1980 dud When Time Ran Out…. Of course, the genre has never fully gone away, often peeking its head up long enough to influence two movies at the same time (Dante's Peak vs. Volcano and Deep Impact vs. Armageddon) and has given a full time career to director Roland Emmerich (2012). If The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure are considered the peak of the '70s disaster cycle, Avalanche is seen as one of the deep valleys in the genre.

The film was a colossal failure during its initial theatrical release, and if it's gained any status over the years it's for its "so bad, it's good" qualities. Whereas the best of the disaster movies feature well known stars and character actors (Steven McQueen, Gene Hackman, Paul Newman), the worst of them often include has-beens and second tier actors. Avalanche doesn't appear to buck that trend, featuring stars walking into the sunset of their careers. A paunchy, aging Rock Hudson stars as David Shelby, who looks like he could use a long nap and a stiff drink. Mia Farrow is his love interest, who is given little to do but walk around in a bathing suit and fend off her ex-husband's advances. Robert Forster plays David's nemesis Nick, the guy who tries to warn everyone that if they keep building on the snowy mountain bad things are going to happen. There are other minor characters, but they're mostly C-level talent that just wanders around waiting for the avalanche to hit.

Avalanche trudges through all the classic disaster movie troupes. People trapped by an earth shaking disaster. A doomsayer who tries to warn everyone how bitchy mother nature can be. A love story that's on the rocks. There's cheating, elderly romance, a precocious child…this is all textbook 101 stuff. Writer/director Corey Allen (Thunder and Lightning) and co-writer Claude Pola's screenplay is as inert as a cockroach stuck in tree sap; there's little in the way of dramatic tension, and what tension there is between the characters is about as interesting as watching an icicle form on a rooftop. Do we really care if Mia Farrow and Rock Hudson's characters get back together? Or that another character is cheating on another character? The resounding answer is "nope."

The effects work is…well, remember what I said about Roger Corman? Don't expect Avalanche to look half as good as an Irwin Allen production. The budget was set around $6.5 million and , oh boy, does it show. The actual avalanche footage is clearly culled from stock footage (the stock scenes look old and grainy), so it feels like you're watching a movie punctuated with National Geographic footage. Any special effects work appears sufficiently cheesy and low rent; the snow is either superimposed in the scene (and poorly, I might add) or it looks like giant white foam blocks are being thrown at various actors. The editing makes it hard to figure out exactly what's going on during the big action scenes; I'm sure being in an avalanche is rather disorienting, and the filmmakers sure did capture that feeling (note: that's not a compliment).

In the same evening I sat through Avalanche, I also sat through director Roland Neame's Meteor, yet another disaster movie that bombed at the box office. Unlike Avalanche, Meteor at least was entertaining in its terribleness; I was never bored even with the effects work looked like it was being created by a kid in his garage. This can't even muster up a "so bad, it's good" feel…it's a true disaster in all the wrong ways.

Kino Lorber's Avalanche (Blu-ray) is presented in 1.85:1/1080p HD widescreen, offering up a good looking transfer; far better than the film deserves. The picture looks bright and sharp without any major defects in the print. There are times where the image appears a bit too soft, as well as instances where the stock footage looks especially grainy or worn. I don't think this is an issue with the transfer as much as when the film was actually produced. The DTS-HD Master Audio track isn't very exciting. It's a front heavy mix with clear dialogue, music, and effects, and little else.

Extras include two separate interviews with actor Robert Forster and producer Roger Corman, and a theatrical trailer for the film.

This should have been a real hoot, and instead turns out to be a monumental howler. With terrible effects work, stiff acting, and a screenplay that's buried under six tons of cold ice, Avalanche gets my personal stamp as one of the 1970s worst disaster movies.

The Verdict

Guilty!

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