The Games. The Glory. The Girls.

Gladiator Eroticus is a movie that knows exactly what it is: poorly shot, badly acted, and flirting with hardcore pornography. I’m all for soft-core, but when it comes (ha!) this close to the line, you have to wonder…Why not just make full-on porn? As an “actor,” if you’ve agreed to go naked, fondle other women, and simulate sex without shame, what are you holding out?

The plot breaks down as…Oh who are we kidding? This is a take-off on Gladiator.

What works? A bevy of beautiful naked women.

What doesn’t? Everything else.

There are actually two different movies here. One is a slapstick spoof of Gladiator laden with toilet humor. The other is soft-core erotica about women in nature. The problem is in the clumsiness with which these two are smashed together. All the scenes go on way too long and the erotic moments are recycled over and over again. Gladiator Eroticus turns on a dime from one emotional extreme to the next (Hilarious! Hot! Hilarious again!), which would make more sense if there were actual porn involved.

Presented in standard definition 1.33:1 full frame, the dated visuals are permanently ensconced in the late ’90s early 2000s. The Dolby 2.0 stereo is so bad had I not needed to listen to it for this review, I would have turned it off. The dialogue is sometimes looped with the least erotic sound effects, adding to the overall inconsistent nature of the film. Bonus features include a couple of interviews with Misty Mundae and Debbie Rochon, and a behind-the-scenes which is supposed to make us appreciate the end result. I guess you had to be there.

Any movie that features vomiting gets my thumbs-down. Including such a scene in soft-core porn? That makes as much sense as…well, the rest of Gladiator Eroticus.


Throw them to the lions!

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