Have you ever had a day so hard and crappy the only salve that would sooth you hollowed-out, blackened soul is to see the looks of pure disappointment on someone with a cheerful disposition. Well, have I got the balm for you, oh miserable bastard. It’s called Down on the Farm and park some bubbly kid in front of the TV, show him the disc cover with the cheerful cartoon farm animals, pop the disc in, and press play–and watch the word “crestfallen” transpire in real time.
What a waste of time this is. Down on the Farm has no discernible plot. Well, maybe it’s got a tiny, discernible plot. And here it is: Oink the Flying Pig and Boink the Owl are looking for a missing bale of hay. They proceed to interview multiple farm animals to track down the hay. Along the way they learn facts about the animals. Then they find the hay. The end!
That’s it. Just a steady succession of hastily animated farm animals belching out fun facts ripped straight from the pages of Ranger Rick. I have no idea what child would want to stick around to endure this informative-slideshow-masquerading-as-a-fun-family-movie, but there was apparently enough of a focus test market to prompt its creation. I have no doubt in mind, that those kids in the focus groups will be just as flummoxed as bored as I was.