A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale (DVD)

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale (DVD)

Starship Troopers reunion show!

Allow me to introduce you to Luce Lockhart (Lexi Giovagnoli). She’s 21 years old. She has nice hair. And she is a terrible person who whines a lot.Then there’s Dean Stanton (Jonathan Bennett). He’s a smug hipster with zero grasp of zoning ordinances.What do these dinkuses have in common?

They walk dogs! For a living!

As true example of the American drive to make the most of their skills and opportunity, Dean and Luce deploy their impressive talents to walk slowly behind dogs, occasionally stooping over to place their excrement into recyclable bags.

The two have found a delightful, makeshift dog park near town for all this slow-walking and excrement-scooping. Unfortunately, the park is under threat of destruction and re-development by an evil capitalist swine (Patrick Muldoon, Starship Troopers).

Together, Dean, Luce and possibly the wife of the evil capitalist swine (Dina Meyer, Starship Troopers) will have to summon up all the courage, tenacity and witty banter at their disposal to halt these evil plans that would turn a worthless abandoned lot carpeted with dog crap into usable space for the community.

And maybe..just maybe…they’ll find love on the way!

Spoiler: they find love on the way.

I mean. what do you want to hear about A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale? It’s standard-issue Hallmark-lite, low-cal fluff. Granted, I tend to have a high tolerance for these kinds of movies (fine–I actually gravitate towards them), but this one just hit me square in the annoying bone.

The characters were about a likeable as a bout with croup and the plot of a malevolent developer trying to bulldoze a dumpy lot only to be thwarted by douchebags with my too much time on their hands is ripped straight out of your favorite Scooby-Doo yarn.

On the other hand…cute doggies!

 

THE VERDICT
Mange.

 

Tech Specs

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale (DVD)
2016, Monarch, 86 minutes, NR (2015)
VIDEO: 1.78:1  AUDIO:  Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English) SUBTITLES: None
EXTRAS: None  ACCOMPLICES: IMDB

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